A Week In Long Island, NY On A $210,000 Joint Income
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Overview
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
This week: A stay-at-home parent who makes $0 per year and spends it on some Kala Namak (black salt).
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This diary was written in 2026.
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Occupation: Stay-at-home parent
Age: 38
Location: Long Island, NY
Salary: $0
Joint Income/Financial Setup: My husband E.’s salary is $210,000 plus a bonus target of $40,000. We share our finances in a joint bank and credit accounts. Additionally, we’ll make $30K this year from a trust in E.’s name (amount varies year to year).
Assets:
Investment accounts: $894K plus $65K earmarked for our children.
Debt: $795,000 (house); $381,550 (condo)
Paycheck Amount (bi-weekly): $5,000
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $7,530.38
Loan Payments:
Car lease: $650
401k: $1,800
Utilities: ~$200
Phone plan: $25 (one of us is gifted a family plan)
Internet: $79.99
YouTube Premium: $23
Disney+: $4.99
Sirius Satellite Radio: $7.27
Apple Music: $10.99
IVF embryo storage: $115
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
No. I was in foster care, so all my caretaker cared about was getting the monthly check that came in for housing me. I participated in college because all my peers were going, and it seemed like a logical next step since I knew I could get a lot of financial aid and I’d have a place to live. I ended up getting a mix of needs-based and merit-based aid, so I didn’t have any loans (I was extremely lucky) for undergrad. I went to graduate school and didn’t get any aid. I took out modest loans at okay interest rates and paid them off aggressively over a few years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
I was raised by a single mom (before my siblings and I were placed in foster care as teenagers). She talked to my siblings and me like we were adults. She stressed about money all the time. Our vacations were infrequent and done on the cheap. We camped in tents at a campsite and cooked all our own food. I once saw a paper she’d been writing on; it was a ledger for a vacation we were taking from New York to New Jersey. She’d written down every planned expense before the trip, including car mileage and gas cost to the gallon. My mom didn’t educate us about finances because she wasn’t good at it. I speculate, or maybe she was waiting until we got older, but then we were taken away from her. She lived (and still does live) paycheck to paycheck. Though she no longer takes care of dependents and now earns a comfortable, liveable wage, she is still unable to budget well or plan ahead.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My mom was a waitress and would bring me to work with her (I was elementary school age). It was my first unpaid job, but a job I took seriously as it was my first ever! I was given the task of filling the dishwasher with soap and running it. There were two bottles of soap next to each other and I was to ask the guy towering above next to me if I couldn’t remember which to use. Eventually I got embarrassed of not being able to remember which it was, so I guessed. I guessed wrong and after a minute, the floor filled with soap suds. The guy yelled a lot and kicked me out of the kitchen, never to return again. After that, I sat in one of the booths and played with my paper dolls. If I was lucky, my mom would give me some money to get a new paper doll book, and I would run to the Barnes & Noble (or was it Borders Books?) and get a new one or sit in the aisles and play with stuff.
For my first paid job, I was a paper girl for a newspaper in middle school (so around 12 to 14 years old). I had a scooter, which I balanced the papers on either side of the handles, so I used that to throw the papers to the neighbours and then race home to get my stuff to go to school. Before going out, we had to either package them with rubber bands or plastic sleeves in the event of rain or snow. I can’t remember if both of my sisters did the job too or only one of them. Weekly, I’d go after school to collect payment for the subscriptions and my take-home pay was any tips I received. I got the job for spending money. I used it to buy candy, toys, and clothing that wasn’t hand–me–downs. And I bought my first cell phone, which was a flip phone that I loaded a few dollars on a phone card. The only game I remember playing on the thing was Snake.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I worried about money growing up because of the things our biological mom shared with us before we were taken away from her. Stressing about making payments, utility shut-off, and moving happened a lot. Taking a cold shower in a cold house was not fun.
Do you worry about money now?
I still worry about money now despite a decent nest egg and marketable skills, so I don’t think it will ever go away. It’s not something I have been able to logic myself out of, unfortunately.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself when I aged out of foster care. I had extended care (since I was in college) and finished college at age 21, so the agency, at the time, gave me a small amount of cash (I think $600?), furniture you could pick from a catalog (I got a futon, a coffee table, and a TV stand), and helps you to secure housing. I was lucky enough to have the Section 8 program when I aged out and eventually earned too much money to warrant support. That benefit was a lifesaver. I would have been homeless when I left college had the housing transition program not been in place. I have been a long-time Money Diary reader, and have always been fascinated by people’s financial safety net responses. I would say that I never had a person I could financially rely upon before marriage. My safety net was my credit cards. I did use them and get into debt when I had to, and luckily have not had to go into severe credit card debt more than once. Now that I’m married, if we ever needed it, E.’s parents would be a financial safety net. However, like many loans received from family and friends, it would come with strings attached, so we wouldn’t consider it an option unless something dire happened.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.
Day One: Tuesday
7 a.m. — My husband, E., heads to a spin class. I keep shoving a pacifier and formula bottle in our baby T.’s mouth (E. always moves him into bed with me in the morning, so I can sleep a bit more). I give up on sleep and go to brush my teeth. I then wash my face using Cetaphil, followed by The Inkey List Peptide Moisturizer and some Kiehl’s eye cream. I keep it simple per my dermatologist.
8:30 a.m. — I feed our cat. E. already fed our dog. I go downstairs to make breakfast. I ask Siri to play “Banana Pancakes” by Jack Johnson. It makes for a nice, easy morning playlist. I sauté spinach and sliced white mushrooms with oil, garlic, and salt. I make a tofu scramble from a random recipe online. E. rates it 4 out of 5. The spinach is so yummy! T. starts crying, so E. takes him to go change his diaper.
9:30 a.m. — I cuddle with T. in bed. He passes out quickly but I can’t so I read an article in The Atlantic. I grab a lemon meringue Coconut Cult and do a crossword puzzle. I’m still hungry so I grab a handful of peanut butter pretzels and a can of club soda, and settle in to work on a book I’ve been writing. Researching, learning new things, outlining my words and illustrations — this has been making me happy with this little project of mine.
12:15 p.m. — I take a break from writing to have lunch. I have a bowl of It-Just-Keeps-Getting-Better Lentil Salad from Bon Appetit that I prepped a few days ago. The Little Man (who was at his grandparents’ place) was dropped off by grandpa earlier and just woke up from his morning nap. I give him a peanut butter and jelly Uncrustable, which he demolishes, and some milk. He crawls into his stroller so I guess he wants a walk. E. gets the baby prepped and I get our Little Man ready for a walk out in the snow. After our walk I put on Bluey for the Little Man and work on my book some more.
5 p.m. — E. feeds the Little Man mush overnight oats for dinner. E. makes us ravioli with a butternut squash sauce and a side of sautéed kale for dinner. I put on Wayne’s World because I’ve been wanting to rewatch it and I like the soundtrack. We haven’t watched much TV lately as a couple because there hasn’t been anything we’ve both wanted to watch. T. is sleeping on top of me so I can’t move anyway. I feed T. a bottle when he wakes. We have dinner; I have a glass of red wine with it.
7:00 p.m. — E. takes the Little Man up for bath time and bed. I feed T. a bottle while finishing the movie. I journal a few sentences. Feed cat.
9:00 p.m. — Bedtime.
Daily Total: $0
Day Two: Wednesday
7 a.m. — T. wakes me. I stick a bottle in his mouth, he downs it and falls back asleep. I try to fall back asleep, too. T. starts to stretch and kick a lot so I pull out his piano kick gym. It’s the only interactive toy he can play with at his age. He starts kicking the piano and smiling.
7:30 a.m. — I put together a bowl of corn pop cereal and ask E. to make me a coffee because I think it always tastes better when someone else makes it. It’s a cup of hot Folgers with cold foam (maple flavored) from Trader Joe’s on top. I eat cereal in bed and watch T. play with his toy. He is adorable. E. goes to get our nanny in our car from the train station! She’s with us three days a week for 10 hours a day, generally.
8 a.m. — I put Bluey on projected to the bedroom wall for the Little Man to watch. I hand off T. to the nanny and the Little Man and I go to his room and take a glorious nap together.
12 p.m. — The Little Man wakes. I feed him a mush overnight oat and heat up leftover potatoes and tofu scramble for myself. E. helps himself to lentil salad from the fridge and goes back to his office area for some meetings. I didn’t have Indian black salt, as per the recipe, for the tofu scramble and hadn’t heard of it before. The scramble came out fine without it but the reviews on Amazon rave about its umami flavor. I’m influenced. $6.99
5 p.m. — E. goes to the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner: Cucumber, cherry tomato, olives, onion, and bananas. He also picks up a few things from the pharmacy (I think that one is personal haha). $23.50
6 p.m. — I prep dinner for everyone: A pita bread open-face sandwich with hummus, cucumber, tomato, feta, dill, olives, and lemon juice. As I’m eating it, I remember I planned on putting sumac on it. Oh well. I relieve our nanny so she can eat before she needs to leave.
7 p.m. — I put Little Man to bed. He decides to play on the floor and falls asleep with his stuffed dog as his pillow on the floor surrounded by his toys. This kid can fall asleep anywhere and I’m jealous.
9 p.m. — I feed the cat and wash my face and brush my teeth. I get in bed and scroll Reddit before lights out.
Daily Total: $30.39
Day Three: Thursday
4:30 a.m. — The Little Man is up and won’t go back to sleep. I join him in his room while he goes between playing, babbling, and crying. E. stays with T. in our room, who is up periodically for feedings. I eventually go downstairs and make a bowl of Corn Pops and share them with the Little Man.
9 a.m. — E. picks up our nanny. The Little Man is napping and E. and I leave to take T. to a doctor’s appointment. I prep a thermos of coffee to take with me. T. was transverse [the baby is lying horizontally] when I was pregnant with him, so they want to look at his hips and make sure everything is okay.
11 a.m. — E. and I are both so hungry so we stop off for some food near the doctor’s. We’ve been to this sandwich place before and it’s so yummy. I get a tuna melt, E. gets a chicken panini and a Diet Coke, and then we get a homemade chocolate chip cookie to share. The cookie is stuffed with a rainbow cookie inside. It’s so extra and yum. I make note of the brand and its website because I think it would make a good gift for friends and neighbors ($36.27). We stop at Whole Foods and Saks off Fifth. I saw online that they were going out of business but there aren’t any sales and there’s a ton of inventory. We get lime, tuna steaks, pasta, pasta sauce, some Rao’s prepared soups, and dark chocolate peppermint cremes ($70.87). $107.14
2 p.m. — I interview for a new job. It goes okay.
3 p.m — I do a Caroline Girvan workout on YouTube from her Iron Series. I learned about her from a fellow Money Diary writer and I like her workouts even more than all the ones on Beach Body. I find hers to be tough but I can still get through them.
3:30 p.m. — I realize we are out of Everything But The Bagel Sesame Seasoning, which I need to make dinner, so I drive to Trader Joe’s. I get some chicken, bean rice and cheese burritos, the lemon arugula lazy salad I love so much, pumpkin seeds, truffle marcona almonds, delice cheese to go with the almonds, Everything But The Bagel Sesame Seasoning, snack bites, and a fruit strip. E. feeds Little Man dinner while I’m gone. Overnight oats, tofu eggs, and sugar snap peas. At this age, he’s eating everything — even weird combos like this. We are lucky. $56.87
5 p.m. — I make everything crusted tuna steaks and a side of snap peas. I follow the recipe from What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking by Caroline Chambers, which I borrowed from the library’s Libby app. I rate my execution 4 out of 5. The snap peas are so yummy coated in sesame oil and leftover seasoning from the tuna in the pan. I house a few Reese’s Oreos for dessert.
7 p.m. — I put the Little Man down for bed with a bottle of milk. E. takes our nanny to the train station and goes to a spin class. I pick up the book I Regret Almost Everything by Keith McNally to read. I got it as a birthday gift and have been itching to read it. I love reading food books and memoirs. So far, this one is more of the latter.
8 p.m. — I take a break to go on the Trader Joe’s website and submit a form about a discontinued product. I haven’t seen the Meatless Meatballs lately and I miss them so. I like theirs better than the competitor brands. The form I fill out probably won’t have any impact but one can dream.
Daily Total: $164.01
Day Four: Friday
Details
6:30 a.m. — The Little Man wakes. (At some point during the night, I went to sleep in his room because he was crying).
7 a.m — We go downstairs for breakfast. I have a lemon meringue Coconut Cult and sprinkle in mini chocolate chips. The Little Man doesn’t like it so I sprinkle Cheerios and banana pieces on the highchair. I’m going to the city today to meet my sister at her college dorm and celebrate her birthday. We are going to QCNY spa. They have a birthday promotion where the birthday person gets free entry in the month of their birth with a paying customer, but I waited to get a ticket too long and the birthday promo tickets were all claimed for the times we were able to go, so I bought both tickets at full price.
7:30 a.m. — I make some coffee and bring it to E. in bed as a little treat. E. and T. are just hanging out in bed, scrolling the internet.
9:30 a.m. — I grab a Nature Valley Peanut Butter granola bar and we take the Little Man to the library for baby sign language, but he’s not having it today. He’s rubbing his eyes and whining so we leave early and E. takes him home for nap time. I walk to the train station, which is near the library, and catch the train to the city. I read my book on the commute. $11.25
11 a.m. — I stop in at Milk Bar to get my sister some red velvet cake truffles to toss in her birthday gift bag because she’s been into red velvet lately. I get an iced cereal milk latte (it’s so yum) and a triple peanut butter cookie. The cookie is just okay. I put half away for later because I want to eat something more substantial ($18.61). I stop at Black Seed Bagels since I pass by it and get bagels and orange juice for me and my sister ($19.11). I stop at Eataly to get a Marvis toothpaste to add to her gift bag, too. She always sneaks into my bathroom when she comes to our home to use my toothpaste because she loves it. I get one for myself too since I’m running low ($22.86). Before this week, I purchased some other things that are in her gift bag (a Dutch oven and flaky sea salt because she’s recently gotten into cooking, a dry brush and reusable cotton rounds for makeup and nail polish removal). $60.58
1 p.m. — We get to the spa and have fun in the saunas and pools. Staff give us various complimentary treats such as cookies and face masks. We use a bunch of lotions and scrubs in different rooms. Our skin looks so good when we happen to see a mirror to glance in! We take a break to have a snack and drinks at the cafe. We each get a margarita, a snack plate to share with cheese, crackers and vegetables, and a prosecco strawberry sorbet. We stay in the outdoor infinity pool that overlooks lower Manhattan to watch the sunset. $401.62
7 p.m. — E. is early into the city, so he grabs a drink before dinner at a dive bar ($9). $9
8 p.m. — We meet E. for dinner. The table isn’t ready, so they comp us drinks at the bar and then a bunch of appetizers when we finally sit down. They apologize too many times for the table being ready so late. We eat and decline dessert. They bring us a complimentary dessert anyway for my sister’s birthday with a candle and she’s so smiley. It comes to $259.00 but I get a $50 American Express Gold Card benefit, so $209.00 it is! $209.00
10 p.m. — We decide to go to a cocktail bar. E. and my sister do several rounds of lemon drop shots. I sip two cocktails slowly… my stomach hurts and I know if I get drunk I’m going to throw up, and I already somehow feel like crap, so I don’t drink much. My sister keeps trying to pay for a round but E. keeps paying. Finally, my sister gets the bill first at the last round and has flirty banter with the waiter. I don’t know if she actually wanted to pay the whole time or get this guy’s attention. She excitedly tells me he flirted back. I tell her they always flirt back with her, and she graciously says “no, not always.” $154.32
12 a.m. — We walk my sister back to her dorm. Her life plan is to go to her old job where she was a dancer and reconnect with a bartender who was in love with her. I tell her not to break his heart this time and to be safe. E. and I get on the train to go home. For fun, we look up a cab, and it’s $175. A hotel in Manhattan for the night, comparatively, is $95. Either way, we get on the train like reasonable people who spent a ton on food and drinks tonight and go home. E. falls asleep on the train and I’m engrossed in my book. E. tries to initiate sex at home and we have a talk. I have no sex drive after giving birth for the second time. I’m worried it won’t return ever and he will give up and divorce me eventually. He says that won’t happen. Do they have Viagra for women??? $22.50
Daily Total: $868.27
Day Five: Saturday
11 a.m. — I lay in bed until 11. It’s pretty glorious. I keep waking and then putting myself back to sleep. I hear T. cry periodically. The nanny slept over so we could have the night out last night, and she’s still taking care of the baby. I go downstairs and make a bowl of Corn Pops.
12 p.m. — E. takes our nanny to the train station ($900 plus dinner for date night ($39.35)). $939.35
12 p.m. — The weather is so nice out, sunny and in the 50s, so E. wants to walk to a local restaurant with T. in the stroller before the grandparents bring the Little Man home from his sleepover. We get loaded nachos, club soda and iced coffee and feed T. a bottle while we eat. We walk the long way home because it’s so nice out. T. falls asleep on top of me while I read my book. I fall asleep, too. $32.13
6 p.m. — I make lentil burgers from a Bon Appétit recipe. I add egg as a binder, as I don’t know how this recipe works without it. E. feeds the Little Man some mac and cheese, and T. gets a bottle.
7 p.m. — After we eat, I bathe the Little Man and put him to bed. I read my book and have some dark chocolate peppermint creams.
10 p.m. — I have a banana and a Babybel snack. Brush teeth, floss, wash face. Give the pillow some head.
Daily Total: $971.48
Day Six: Sunday
8:30 a.m. — I lay in bed with T. 8:30. I kept him asleep with bottles and pacifiers. I make tofu scramble again because this time I can try it with the black salt that came in the mail. It’s crazy how eggy it smells. E. added cold cheese on top last time, so I fold in some shredded mozzarella. I would prefer cheddar but the mozzarella is already pre-shredded. The flavor isn’t that much different with black salt. The Little Man goes down for his morning nap.
10:30 a.m. — E. goes to spin and I feed T. a bottle and read my book. He falls asleep on me but not for long. I try to hold in a cough and can’t, which wakes him.
1:00 p.m. — I feed the Little Man an Uncrustable for lunch and pack everyone up to go to E.’s godparent’s house for bagels and a hike. We forgot to take the harness for T., so I take a nap on the couch. E.’s godmother takes T., and E. goes for a hike with the Little Man and his godfather.
5 p.m. — We go to E.’s parents’ house for dinner. We order Greek food for pickup. E.’s parents pay.
8 p.m. — We arrive home and our Target grocery delivery arrived on our doorstep. We ordered a bunch of produce, some snacks, Aquaphor, and baby socks. We put the food away and the kids to bed. I put the dishes away and load the dishwasher because we need bottles for the night. I do a crossword and pass out. $102.80
Daily Total: $102.80
Day Seven: Monday
6 a.m. — The kids wake us up. E. takes the Little Man with him to the car shop to trade in our car for a loaner while ours gets repaired. I’m texting my father-in-law about politics and he isn’t answering me. It’s kinda early in the morning but you know how people get about politics??? Lol. I can’t stand the silence anymore so I call my father-in-law’s best friend. I know he screens his calls so he won’t answer but he will call me back at ungodly times of day, so I wait. I also pepper my sister with memes.
8 a.m. — Why isn’t anyone answering me? It’s like 8 a.m. now, which seems like an acceptable time for communication, and my brother-in-law isn’t answering me either. Where is everyone? Did the apocalypse finally happen? Oh wait, I look at my chat — jeez, I messaged a lot of people this morning. One person did respond to a birthday message I sent.
8:30 a.m. — I tidy up the house and E. comes home for the car repair shop with a frappe from Brew Crew for me — sweet! I read a bit while taking care of T., and grandpa comes over to relieve me and spend time with T. I chat on the phone for a while with an old neighbor who is a mom now as well, so we chat about kids, family, and career struggles as moms. I spend some time applying for jobs. $7.44
2 p.m. — I take the Little Man to a dance class at the library ($5), and E. and T. go to trade the loaner car back for our car. $5
2:30 p.m. — We’re told the total damage for a broken sensor issue we’ve been itching to fix: $634.38.
3 p.m. — E. goes to spin class and picks up some odds and ends for meals coming up (lime, lemon, etc). I prep a salad lunch for the next few days and make a shwarma spice mix to have on hand for potatoes (inspired by our dinner out the other night) and watch T. The Little Man took a nap right after his class; he doesn’t often do an afternoon nap. $3
5:30 p.m. — I whip together Crispy Miso Lime Tofu from the cookbook I took out from the library. It comes together in like 15 minutes and then I make a side of quick cooking garlic and herb rice. I rate the recipe 5/5. The Little Man won’t eat anything, so we don’t force it and let him have milk. I clean up and make a dessert from the same cookbook; it’s a chocolate peanut butter cup pudding type thing. It’s another quick recipe to make but has to chill in the fridge for hours to set. E. goes upstairs to put T. to bed and I tidy while the Little Man stays up late because of his nap schedule, watching Bluey.
7:00 p.m. — I take a bath with the Little Man and then put him to bed. He wakes, and E. goes to lie with him. I tidy up the downstairs and settle in with a book for the night.
Daily Total: $649.82
The Breakdown
Conclusion:
I beat myself up in my head for not working out enough times this week. The experience of recording my spend was… fine? I do this mentally with expenses anyway, so it wasn’t eye-opening or anything. I can’t see myself changing anything with regards to spend in the near future.
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